“For we walk by faith, not by sight”– 2 Corinthians 5:7
Saturday 15th September 2018 at 6:30pm– As I buckled my seatbelt and proceeded to drive, I noticed that the radio volume had been turned down. In an unusual case such as this, I’d immediately pump it all the way up and enjoy the rhythm and sounds coming out the speakers; as I travel to my destination. However on this occasion, I left the volume at the low level it was at, because I wanted to isolate myself in my thoughts, as I made my way to church.
Arriving early had given me the opportunity to sit in the car for a while and talk to God. I told him that the past couple of weeks had been slightly difficult for me. As a freelance blogger/ influencer who is still trying to stamp her mark in the fashion industry, I felt stuck in my career…and I didn’t know how pick up and move on. I felt as if my career had been at an over bearing standstill and I didn’t want to be in the place anymore. As I was speaking to God, I was treading carefully with my words as I didn’t want to sound unappreciative, but at the same time, I wanted answers…I needed answers…
6:53pm– And at this precise moment, was when I realised that I haven’t been putting my faith in God as much as I am supposed to. I haven’t been trusting in him as much as I’ve been persuading myself that I have. I failed to channel my time and energy into strengthening my bond with The Good Lord.
Church was about to start, so I said a quick prayer in the car:
Thank you for your travel mercies. Thank you for bringing me here safe and sound. Thank you for the love, guidance and protection in which you bless us with daily. As I’m about to walk into Your House, may I receive every word that is spoken to me. I pray that I walk out of this church, feeling refreshed and ready to receive your blessings. In the Mighty Name of Jesus, I commit my career into your hands. I pray that you lead me to that place that you have specially set aside for me. Please continue to bless me with strength and a sound mind, as I battle these obstacles that are trying to bring me down. I cast out any spirit of negativity! In Jesus’ Name I pray,
6:57pm– I hopped out the car and made my way to the church. As I placed my bag on the fourth row bench, I felt the spirit of The Holy One, draw nearer to me. That beautiful sense of comfort made me feel so much better, as I slowly placed myself beside my bag. Although I was the only physical being on that bench, I knew I wasn’t sitting there alone…I had my best friend right by my side. The church bell rang and everyone stood up in silence as the Priest and altar servers gracefully walked up the aisle.
And then the service began….
Just before communion, we all knelt down for a moment, to share our personal thoughts with God, through prayer. As I began to pray, ideas started flooding through. WOW!! WAUW!! WAWUUUU!! I didn’t know whether to pull out my pen and note pad and start jotting down these ideas or not. But one thing I knew I had to do at the moment, was thank Him over and over again for answering my prayers.
7:45pm– The service was over and I walked out of church feeling exactly how I wanted to feel…refreshed!! I couldn’t help but open up Snapchat and share my sweet little testimony with my Snapchat family. I received so many overwhelming and uplifting responses which I am extremely thankful for.
For a long time, I felt like my content wasn’t worth posting or sharing with you guys. One day, I looked at the clothes in my wardrobe and said to myself “gosh Barbara! Your clothes are so outdated! You need a new wardrobe sis.” Whilst talking in third person, I began to doubt myself…doubt my style…and everything I stood for in fashion. My motto is “because simplicity never fails to make a statement.” And thats what I’ve committed to for as long as I can remember. I’ve made my mark by sticking to that statement. People know me as the woman with style that represents simplicity…but with a bang. So why am I now doubting myself? Am I really allowing these new trends of cycling shorts, chunky trainers and half worn puffy jackets around the elbows to question my ability to slay as a fashion Queen???….NAHHHHHH that will not pass! Not in my book. I’ve always stressed on the importance of revamping your garments and investing in timeless statement pieces (which is why you’ll probably find a lot of my posts contain clothes that are either sold out from seasons ago or a constant repetition of the same familiar items). I can’t suddenly jump on the bandwagon and dip into a trend that I see circulating on social media. Pursuing my style in this industry and using it to help others feel more confident and comfortable is my long term aim and that is exactly what I’m going to stick by.
I was extremely happy with the emotional outcome. I felt pumped up and energised to create more content for your viewing/ reading pleasure. And after all of that, God said to me: “IF YOU EVER REACH THAT POINT IN YOUR JOURNEY WHERE YOU FEEL CONFUSED OR STUCK, IT IS COMPLETELY OKAY TO TURN TO ME FOR HELP. I AM HERE FOR THAT AND MANY OTHER REASONS. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO TAKE OUT OF THIS EXPERIENCE, IS THE LESSON. AND TO UTILISE IT FOR A BETTER FUTURE. THE SUPPORT IS THERE IN BOTH THE PHYSICAL AND SPIRITUAL SENSE. JUST TRUST ME IN ME, TRUST IN YOUR DREAMS AND CONTINUE TO USE THE STRENGTH I HAVE BLESSED YOU WITH, TO PUSH YOURSELF.”
As an influencer, people tend to perceive your life as all glitz and glam. Attending catwalk shows during fashion month, receiving invites to big brand events and having goodies thrown at you left, right and center from pr departments is not all there is to it. I’m sure I speak for every influencer (big or small) when I say there is much more to it than that. Juggling your career with everything else you may have going on in your life such as motherhood, being a wife, husband or partner is pretty much the same as anyone else who is trying to balance out the events of life whilst working in finance, care, law etc. For small bloggers or influencers (such as myself), who are yet to receive a higher level of recognition, it is more likely that they’re working a part-time / full-time job and/ or studying whilst building their brand too. Taking pictures outside in the rain or sun isn’t as fun as it may sound or look sometimes. Changing outfits in the back of the car, Starbucks toilets or behind that big oak tree can have people looking at you all sorts of crazy lol! Do you know how many times I’ve had the staff in Zara Covent Garden give me weird stares because I walk in with one outfit but walk out the changing rooms in a completely different one…and possibly a different wig and lip colour too?
I think its helpful to share this side of my journey from time to time as I feel it would be unfair to paint it out as something close to perfection. I am extremely passionate about what I do and although I haven’t reached my desired level, I know that with constant hard work and support from God I will get there. Sharing this story will hopefully help someone else, who may be feeling some type of way about their career. I am ready to tackle all the issues that may dare to face me as I continue to build the empire that is Simple Yet Stylish.